Tired, angry, frustrated

Apparently the 112 glucose reading was a fluke. Since then it's been running anywhere between 180 and 229. I'm taking my medication and I have been watching my diet. I've been working out, lifting weights and riding my stationary bike, along with walking the dogs twice a day.

I can't sleep. I was up all night last night and the night before with my legs and back aching from tossing and turning so much. I range from being so upset that I feel like I can't eat, to wanting to stuff myself full of cake, candy, cookies, whatever, to make my sugar go sky high so that it just kills me. I'm not really suicidal, I'm just so damn frustrated. For the first time, I'm doing all the right things and it's not doing any good. David thinks the whole thing is funny and Scott just shrugs his shoulders like "Oh well".

I know all of this is probably depressing for you to read, but my blog is the only place I have that I can really vent. As it's turned out, my family hasn't offered the support that I thought they would. My 2 sisters on insulin have both stated that they eat what they want and the heck with it. Uh yeah, you both have kidney and liver damage too and you're only in your mid 50's. My brother fights hard to keep his diabetes under control but he's been through so much (he almost died last year from it and he's only 46) that what I'm going through at the moment seems minor.

I don't know what to do, I don't know where to turn. I just want the whole thing to go away.