Last doctor's appointment for a while

I went to the doctor again today. My blood pressure was normal ( I do have to keep taking the meds) and my glucose levels have been coming down a bit every morning so I don't have to go back until April unless I have a problem. Hopefully things will continue to go well. Some of the stress I've been under for the past couple of months is gone and I'm sure that has a lot to do with the BP coming down.

I had to post this!

This is my horoscope for today....

Overview: This isn't a failure -- it's a learning experience. The lessons that you are learning here will prime you for genuine and lasting success, so make sure you glean everything you can from the situation.

Well.......

I had an interesting day yesterday. First though, thanks Debs, Chrissy and KC for your words of encouragement. I was feeling really alone and knowing I can count on my friends helps so much. Thanks to yesterday, Scott is finally coming around too.

I had an appointment with the doc yesterday at 2:30. Normally I go in, the nurse does her thing, BP, weight yada yada, and then wait for anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes for the doctor to come in. NOT yesterday. The nurse walked out, I picked up a magazine and got to all of page 2 when Dr. F comes in.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.
"Not good. I can't keep my glucose under control, I'm depressed and I've had a headache since Sunday that I can't get rid of." I reply.
"It's no wonder," he says as he picks up the BP cuff and proceeds to take my BP again, and then he does it yet again.

Yippee for me, my blood pressure was 148/110! He wanted to know if I was under any stress. My life stressful? I started laughing and then crying. I had a total meltdown right there in the doctor's office! After he got me calmed down he wanted to admit me to the hospital but you know me, I refused. I didn't know what time Scott would be home from work and I couldn't get in touch with him and I didn't know if David had taken his keys with him.

We spent quite a bit of time talking and he told me to quit stressing over the sugar. I know what to do and I'm doing it, the rest is just a matter of getting the medication right. I'm now on it twice a day. He also told me to avoid stress and put me on meds for the BP. In the end, he did let me come home after it came down 12 points. Of course I have to go back next week.

I told Scott what happened when he got home and I think it scared him. He called me about 4 times today to check on me and then helped me make dinner when he got home. I'm feeling a bit better today, though the meds have me moving is slow motion a bit. It'll just take time to get used to them I guess.

Tired, angry, frustrated

Apparently the 112 glucose reading was a fluke. Since then it's been running anywhere between 180 and 229. I'm taking my medication and I have been watching my diet. I've been working out, lifting weights and riding my stationary bike, along with walking the dogs twice a day.

I can't sleep. I was up all night last night and the night before with my legs and back aching from tossing and turning so much. I range from being so upset that I feel like I can't eat, to wanting to stuff myself full of cake, candy, cookies, whatever, to make my sugar go sky high so that it just kills me. I'm not really suicidal, I'm just so damn frustrated. For the first time, I'm doing all the right things and it's not doing any good. David thinks the whole thing is funny and Scott just shrugs his shoulders like "Oh well".

I know all of this is probably depressing for you to read, but my blog is the only place I have that I can really vent. As it's turned out, my family hasn't offered the support that I thought they would. My 2 sisters on insulin have both stated that they eat what they want and the heck with it. Uh yeah, you both have kidney and liver damage too and you're only in your mid 50's. My brother fights hard to keep his diabetes under control but he's been through so much (he almost died last year from it and he's only 46) that what I'm going through at the moment seems minor.

I don't know what to do, I don't know where to turn. I just want the whole thing to go away.

Kicking ass baby!

I hadn't posted because I ran out of test strips for my glucose monitor and I knew if I told you guys you'd chew me a new one! LOL

Anyway, just went and got some strips and tested my sugar and it was.....................................................................................................
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112!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm really depressed

My female problem, that I mentioned on my other blog, came back last week. I went to the doctor today and I told the doctor that I probably needed my sugar checked (THANKS DEBS!). I've had mild diabetes since David was about 2, but I've always been able to control it with diet and exercise. Well I practically had to argue with the doctor to get him to check it and when he did it was 201. Pretty dang high for a fasting test. So now I'm on oral meds and I have to check my sugar twice a day.

That wasn't the only problem they found. My blood pressure was high also. I go back next Tuesday and if it's still high I'll have to go on medication for that as well. I have a long history of both conditions in my family. My mom had high blood pressure and my father was severely diabetic. Two of my three sisters are on insulin, as is one brother. My other brother is hypoglycemic.

I'm feeling really down right now.

Happy Birthday!

To my baby boy, David, who was born 16 years ago today at 2:14 p.m. I love you sweetie!

booooorrrrrriiiiinnnnnngggg!

Absolutely nothing going on in my life. Sabrina was a little angel Friday night so no funny tales to tell. We barely got a dusting of snow so no sledding down West Broad Street hill. *sigh* I really need some excitement.

Oh the weather outside is frightful......

Actually it isn't and hasn't been. Here it is the third of February and I've only had to wear a jacket when taking the dogs out, maybe 4-5 times so far this year. It 's been good for the gas bill but it just seems odd. We are supposed to get a major snow storm tomorrow night with several inches accumulation possible. It'll be a nice change if we do get it.

Not much going on here otherwise. I'm supposed to watch Sabrina tonight so maybe something interseting to write about after that!